cleaning out my outlook inbox...

I was cleaning out my Inbox this afternoon and I found this old email that my friend sent me. It made me laugh again:


Why females should avoid a girls night after they are married:
The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!"
Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even when totally smashed), in order to escape a possible conflict with him.
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him "Midnight". He didn't seem pissed off at all.
Whew! Got away with that one! Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock."
When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "Oh shit.", cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it's throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.

God Bless America

I was away from a computer all weekend, but decided that it was better to post this late rather than never. In honor of Memorial Day, I wanted to list some freedoms that I enjoy on a daily basis thanks to this beautiful (yet wacky) country we live in and the armed forces that have protected all of us and these freedoms.

Freedoms I enjoy and can’t live without:

I can worship and believe in the religion I choose. I can openly have my faith in God without the fear of being tortured or killed.

I married the man of my choosing and could decide how many children we would have together.

As I have two little girls, I’m so grateful that there isn’t a government, hoping for more boys, applying pressures to my family to abandon those beautiful little girls in hopes that the next time I conceive it will be a boy. Words cannot express the thankfulness in my heart that my daughters won’t be forced from abandonment to prostitution at an age as early as six.

I don’t have to cover my face when I walk out of the house. I can look a man in his eye and tell him to eat dirt if he’s being an ass without fearing for my life or fearing a severe beating.

I can vote in any election and do so proudly with much patriotism. No matter what people say, my vote does matter. One person CAN make a difference.

I can have my own opinions. I am free to make my own choices and learn for myself what is right or what is wrong. I have NO ONE telling me what to believe or say and do. Least of all, my government.

I have hope for better things in life. I have the opportunity to change that which does not appeal to me. I am not oppressed to a live of demeaning routines.

I am educated and have every opportunity to further that education. It is not wrong for me, as a woman, to have thoughts and opinions and learn us much as I want.

I am so grateful that when I walk the streets of my home town with my family, I live with constant dread that the gunfire I hear in the distance will close in on me and my family. While crime is a terrible reality, constant wartime is not.

I own my own car and can use it at my disposal/as my budget may allow.

I can listen to any radio channel and watch any TV channel of my liking. I have hundreds of choices and my government doesn’t own the networks and what is shown.

I can blog openly about my feelings and beliefs and my government honors my freedom of speech.

I’m grateful that because I live in a country where (most) people believe in these freedoms that much is done to preserve these freedoms. It is because of said preservations that none of us speak German today, that we can walk our streets freely, that we can have the rights to choose, that we are not held politically captive by any one individual that can rule and dictate our every actions.

I love this country and the freedoms we all enjoy everyday. I’m so grateful for those that have fought to preserve these freedoms. Those like my grandfather who fought bravely during WWII and then liberated concentration camps after. I am so proud to honor those men and women.

Happy Memorial Day!

Elverta Eagle's Pride Baby!

20 years in Elverta! Really?

Some classic memories:

Digging up random things in the back yard - Carpet, spoons, some sort of video tape thing. Before our home was there people would dump their garbage.

Grandma’s two trailers.

All the pets – Bernice, Mimi, Poppy, Rosy, Socrates, Sasha, Sadie, Jasmine, Raja, Yakko, Wacko, Dot, Fudge and Meg. The bunny? What was it's name? OH silly me, the fish – Wild Bill, and Jim. (Did I miss anyone?) **

The neighbors. No need for explanation.

All the trampolines… what number are we on?

& THE GARAGE!

… Even though I have my own family, Eloise Ave. is still HOME.

**I don't remember the names of the fish that Max and Greg gave us.

Something We Forgot to Celebrate

Okay...so maybe not actually celebrate. Maybe commemorate? May 11 was indeed a very busy day…but it was 20 years ago that day (2005) that we moved to good ‘ol Elverta. Wacky, huh?

Yes, I know I haven’t contributed much to the family blog as of late…but I was thinking it would kinda be funny to come up with a Top 10 list of the Best (or Worst) Elverta Memories.

Playing “Farm Family” with Derrick and Ryan and Jaye

Recording “radio shows” with me and Jaye and even with Jess and Tracy

Jumping in the sprinklers on the trampoline

Hiding from Gramma (on any given day)

Riding bikes at Elverta School when Jaye drove her bike into the wall. (I still wish we would’ve sent that to Funnies Home Videos.)

As a side note, Abby stuck a pea up her nose on Monday. Judith couldn’t get it out and after trying for several minutes (Abby started to get a bit nervous) she went to get Alonso. All Alonso had to do was basically squeeze it out of her nose…but it reminded me of when Jordon stuck a piece of Puffed Wheat (cereal) up his nose. Classic.

May the Force Be With You

Our family has had a love affair with the Star Wars phenomenon since its beginning in the late 70s. I can remember seeing Star Wars when I was about 4 at a drive in in Mt. Shasta, CA. Our adoration continued through the years, my favorite will always be Return of the Jedi.

So upon the release of the 6th and final movie this week, we've done it all. We've collected just about all that Burger King has to offer in the form action figures (didn't win the $1,000,000 though). And Isaac's birthday played right into the frenzy, most of his gifts centered around Star Wars, including the Millennium Falcon and Darth Vader voice changer. It's been exceptionally fun for me, because being the sissy-la-la girl that I was, I never had a Luke action figure or Lando or any of the ships, so maybe I went a little overboard. But it's been a blast. Lightsaber count: 3.

The kids and David went to see Revenge of the Sith on Saturday, and any fears I had about the movie being too scary for the kids subsided, and they excitedly talked about all the important parts, leaking too much information to mom.

So last night my Isaac paid me the ultimate compliment that I shall treasure forever. As we cuddled before bedtime he sweetly told me that he loved me "more than Star Wars". A boy never said kinder words to his momma.

He steps on the floor without making a sound... then he starts to feel the beat...

Hello family,

I decided I better do a blog since I just bitched about it. All is well here. Actually it’s been a pretty boring week. I do have a big announcement though…

I bought “It's Flashbeagle, Charlie Brown”, and “Garfield in Paradise”!!! I know, I am the greatest… We will have to have a movie night when Jess gets here.

I also bought a Napoleon Dynamite T-shirt BUT you will just have to wait and see it.

Amazon.com is great.

To: Pudge,
Nothing itches at the moment but I’ll let you know.

May 11th is a busy day!

Happy Birthday Isaac!
Happy Anniversary MOM & DAD!

I should have started this Blog a long time ago… let see how long I can type before The Creature wakes up.
Man, we are all lousy at Blogging - family! We should all try and do one Blog, once a week… even if it is to say… I have two hideous zits on my forehead, and one growing under my nose. See, that didn’t take too long. (and it’s all true :( ) I know you are all on the computer at least once A DAY, so lets all try to Blog every once in a while.
I’m not quite sure where this is coming from??? I think I just miss seeing Blogs because we are like different people in our writing styles. I don’t think any of this is making sense. I will stop now. But, who says this quote, in what movie:

“I’m the one on the right!” – Its an easy one.

PS, I should mention that Jessica has been an excellent blogger. Keep’em comin.

Happy Anniversary

In honor of mom and dad being married 31 years, I think that we should all go to Baskin Robbins.

Let's see if we can come up with 31 flavors for us to choose from.

1.) Chocolate
2.) Vanilla
3.) Mint Chip
4.) Vanilla Chocolate Chip
5.) Orange Sherbet
6.) Rainbow Sherbet
7.) Lime Sherbet
8.) Raspberry Sherbet
9.) Chocolate/Brownie
10.) Mocha Almond Fudge
11.) Rocky Road
12.) Pistachio
13.) Bubblegum
14.) Spamoni
15.) Marble Fudge
16.) Straberry
16.) Neopolitan
17.) Coffee


This is harder than I thought...help me out.