Who's Going to Break the News to Mom & Dad?

Mom and Dad have been out of the country so long, there's so much to tell them. I hope they're sitting when they get the news.

Jamesson: will they be shocked to find that their youngest didn't burn down the house while they were away?

Jordan: will they be amazed to find their oldest son is on the verge of employment?

Julia: their hearts will break when they hear her husband ran off without her.

Jill: they will be saddened to learn that she spent her 30th, I mean 27th birthday in misery.

Jess: the tears will flow when they are informed of her escape to a bigger sky.

This is so much for Mom & Dad's fragile hearts to take. Keep the aspirin handy, kids. It's going to be a rough night.